Corporations are stupid

Once more we are getting gaslit by Elon that a corporation is more efficient and a better model for government, than… government. Of course, this is bullshit. 

I have been working for a living since 1974, and I have seen the economy turn several times. I have been both employed by and vendor to Fortune 500 corporations and to survive, I came up with several observations. Here they are, from then and now, to refer to when things are bumpy with our corporate overlords. 

• Corporations are stupid. They make stupid decisions, usually Cover Your Ass decisions. This has many causes, but putting shiny new MBAs ( now it’s techbros) into headquarters and giving them policy power back in the 80s started a downward trend. A top-down decision tree always wastes everyone’s time. The only knowledgeable people in an industry are those on the ground. So inevitably, when workers are ignored or laid off, and consequences ensue, it’s CYA time. Lower level folks are fired, but everyone in the C suite fails upwards. Corporate America is run by those who continually cost the company more money but never pay the price for their incompetence. In fact, the true currency in business is loyalty to whoever holds their strings. 

• And so, the corporate world, your job description is usually not your job. Your job is actually making your boss look good to his boss, whatever that takes. It might be finishing your weekly workload, but it might easily be errands, manual labor or procurement. It might be just laughing at his ugly jokes or he might require you do his work, stand in for his family, or to volunteer for his causes. You are always required to give him the glory. You are his creature. That’s the job.

• Corporate business in the US is primarily a game white middle class men play every day to pal around and compete with other men. Picture that fedora’d clean-cut  man walking out the door with his briefcase every morning, intoning, “Off to the wars!” That’s why they like it.  The product or service is secondary. “Office Space” could be set in any industry - the game is played exactly the same. 

• The well known “office politics” and “corporate culture” euphemisms are there to hide the constant undermining of women and minorities. That harassment costs time and money, not to mention the talent wasted. The fact that women and minorities can’t get representative numbers of corporate positions is because they are not seen as legitimate opponents in the game. No white man wants to waste his time competing with one of them; it’s easier to force them out with abuse. How much better the company might do if the management wasn’t always paying off its victims is irrelevant.. Corporations must preserve the illusion of white male competence, in spite of its losses. 

• Truly, hasn’t remote work made obvious how wasteful in-office work has become? At this point, corporate demands that employees show up are just naked grabs for the control they lost during the pandemic. 

• Now that corporations’ only real products are stock dividends, and unnecessary costs like quality materials or trained labor can be cut from the P&L, their products or services are shoddy and product lines have shrunk. Once proud US companies turn out slop and often, there’s a private equity firm behind them. Like techbros, and the clueless MBAs of past decades. PE firms don’t know how to run a company, other than into the ground. They think their money is proof of competence, a mistake Elon makes, and that their meddling is actually smart  leadership. 

• Really, the final straw for me is the contempt these companies show for their customers, those still able to afford the inflated prices. No customer service, extra fees for things that used to be included, and when it breaks, too bad, buy another. Or just F*O*. Because they don’t really need your business.  Wall Street is where their customers live.

I have stories, actual interaction with top corporate C-suites and upper-level management - Pillsbury, IBM, Georgia Pacific and more - so this is experience talking. But the current situation is the natural end to the gaslighting that corporate entities have maintained since the 80s. 

If these points don’t convince you to stop investing these corporate golems with credibility, then the future looks to be even worse. Just because Elon feels fine with abusing his position and lying to manipulate us, doesn’t mean we have buy his shit. In fact, we should stop buying all corporate shit because they all lie to us constantly to preserve their stock prices. 

I think the current array of incompetents - all nurtured by corporate capitalism -  in the administration should prove my point for me. Who is really the DEI hire now?